Yarn Along

Joining Ginny this week for Yarn Along.

Reading: The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo and Storey's Guide to Raising Sheep by Carol Ekarius and Paula Simmons.

Daydreaming: About raising sheep in the country, and wondering, constantly if I am a country girl or a city girl.  And wasting way too much precious time on Zillow and Trulia searching for my dream farm.

Knitting: A sweater that is in the home run, but which I cannot share until the pattern is released.  And also just casted off this garter stitch rectangle which is destined to become an adorable little pom-pomed hat.

What are you knitting and reading?

1/52 & 2/52

I'm setting a new intention for myself this year.  Or rather a renewed intention to join Jodi in photographing my children every week in 2016.  I became erratic in this task towards the end of last year, but after a lot of thought realized that this project serves multiple purposes.  The obvious, of having a well documented year of my children's growth.  Additionally, I realized that photographing them each week helps me see and find the joys in parenting, and gives me one more creative outlet.  I've found that often lately photographing them together seems the natural thing to do, but I'm going to see how the project unfolds.

1/52: Exploring the snow in their preferred states (Lilo is not a fan.)

2/52: Playing footsy on the couch.  (Earlier in the day Lilo, whose language is emerging these days, said, "Go get Otto."  He was at school at the time and she wanted him home with her, clearly.)

Winter Beach

I'm so grateful to live so close to the ocean.  Popping over to the beach for just a bit this time of year can really be magical.  Bits of ice and snow create the most beautiful structures over beautiful beach rocks, and ice floats drifting by in the water make me think we could hop aboard and visit the polar bears.  It's a quiet and peace that you'll never find when the temperature raises to 80 in summertime.

In Reflection (2015)

The dark winter days always make me turn inward.  I'd love nothing more than to sit by the fire, knitting, with a glass of wine from late December until the snow thaws, thinking and creating.  With little ones at home, that isn't exactly a reality.  But I do find that the darkness brings about a natural period of introspection.  (With a bit of added New Year's hype.)

It seems tempting to reflect on my personal/parenting journey over the past year separately from my business/designer journey.  But the fact is, that as a work at home mom the two are so intertwined they cannot be sussed out from one another.  My days are spent trying to juggle clothing, bathing, feeding and generally keeping two little people safe and happy.  While I go about these all-consuming tasks my mind wanders, my anxiety and stress creeps in about what else I need to be doing but will have to wait for when my children sleep.  Working on independent patterns gives me flexibility, and when I need to put something on the back burner in order to be more present for my children I can.  But opportunities have come my way that are tied with hard fast deadlines, and these are not so easy to put down when my children are grumpy or tired, or come down with strep throat, or when I come down with their case of strep throat.

Being a work at home/stay at home mom is incredibly difficult.  It is a societal role totally overlooked and undervalued.  Cutting and ignorant comments about how my days are spent haunt me.  (There seems to be an assumption by some that I am doing nothing all day while home with my children.)  Our cultural norms surrounding work and parenting values could use some serious improvement.  Living in a society that values working long, hard hours but does not value the same effort on the parenting front can do serious damage to a stay at home mother's self worth.  EVERY moment not spent on my children (which is very, very little) is spent on my design work. 

Which I love.

But it is an uphill battle.  I have a constant inner dialogue.  Is this a healthy balance?  No, absolutely not.  I stay up way too late, work on my designs instead of exercising, sleeping or socializing and cause myself unneeded stress.  Maybe I should give it up?  NO.  I've turned it over in my head many times.  Seriously considered it.  Amongst the mundane tasks that comprise my days (cook, feed, clean, repeat) this is the thing that makes me feel creatively fulfilled.  Should I keep going?  How can I stop?  I find so much fulfillment in it.

But I certainly could use a little more balance.  Exercise.  Social time.  Time to reflect, think, write, and remember why all of the things in my life are so, so good.  Yes to all of that.

As my design work has grown, this space has become more and more quiet.  I've become torn over what this blog's purpose is; a personal journal or a marketing tool?  When I first began blogging it was a space to share my thoughts, record our days and find joy in my everyday.  As my audience has grown beyond just family and friends and a few like minded folk I've found myself feeling more and more private.  With child number two I've also found/made less time for the things that aren't top priority (like knitting deadlines) and less time for things that are simply enjoyable (like blogging).  I've come to realize how much I miss writing and recording my thoughts and how therapeutic writing is for me.  It helps me clear my head, helps me see love and find gratitude in the midst of a busy life.  Which is why I'm determined to give myself time to be in this space more in the coming year.

I welcome your feedback.  I want to know why you come here, what you enjoy.  What could you use more of?  I welcome the return of conversation in this space, which has been pretty quiet of late.

In 2015 I published 19 patterns, independently and through publications.  That's something to be proud of.  And I am.  But make no mistake, it wasn't easy. 

2016 is going to be a big year.  Already I have just as many projects slated for 2016, including a book project that I am so, so excited to share with you soon.  I will certainly need your help to make it happen.

Amongst it all, I'll be trying to find a little balance and self care in this busy, wonderful life.  The close of 2015 has found me tired (and recovering from a case of strep throat) but, so, so grateful.  Thank you for your support.  I can't wait to share what's in store.

Chaos Reigns

Five pictures are worth a thousand words?  In our house chaos reigns.  It's a wonder that I get anything done at all, and indeed I feel like I get very little done.  But my website, and my Ravelry designer page say otherwise.  It's exhausting, being a work at home mom.  But I feel in a much better place (mentally, emotionally) than I was a year ago.  Last holiday season was not the best for us.  My dad had back surgery, and came home post-snowstorm on Thanksgiving to a house without power.  When we returned home our children fell ill, and our baby girl ended up spending a few days in the children's hospital.  I hadn't realized how much stress and anxiety I had been carrying around from those events until it started to lift.  And while I still don't feel quite myself again (does any mom with young children?), things don't seem quite as gray as they did.

My house is a disaster, daily.  And those children of mine, whew, those children.  (Do you see those two above?  Every. Single. Day.)  But I'm finding more joy in the daily madness.  And I have some very exciting projects happening behind the scenes that inspire and excite me.

Hoping you all do to in this very busy season.

Aleida Shawl

Just released!  I know it probably isn't the time for shawls - it's not a quick knit gift after all!  But I thought there might just be a few of you winding down your gift knitting and ready for something a little more selfish.  And in a DK weight alpaca yarn, this one is a great winter shawl. 

You can find more about the pattern and purchase it on Ravelry HERE.

Speckle & Stone from Knit Darling

In October my friend Alexis Winslow as well as a few other friends came to stay with us for the weekend.  I had so much fun showing them around Maine, and through all our touristing Alexis and I couldn't help but talk knitting.  Knitwear design is such a niche, and so having someone else to talk to that is doing what you are doing is a real treat!  Alexis was wearing some of the pieces from her recently released ebook, Speckle & Stone (it hadn't been released yet at the time), and I totally fell in love.

If you aren't familiar with Alexis' work, you should most definitely check it out.  Our styles are very different, which makes Alexis' perspective and designs all the more interesting to me.  Her work is full of bold colorwork and beautifully constructed details.

Seeing Alexis' pieces in person, walking around Maine made me want to cast on for every single piece.  It's hard to choose a favorite, but I'll try...

The Tiber Cardigan is positively stunning.  Having finished some circular yoke designs recently, I know both how fun, but how tricky these can be to design.  Alexis has done an amazing job with this cardigan.  Love!

The Brenta Hat is perfect.  I love, love the vintage-y motif, and the color palette is right up my alley.  It's gorgeous!  I may have even noticed and commented on Alexis' Brenta hat when she walked in my house before I remembered to be the proper hostess and say "hello and welcome" to all my friends!  (Sorry guys, I've got a one track mind, and that track is "knit".)

Lastly, I want to show you the Arno Pullover.  It's a simple enough knit, but one of those sweaters you'll want to wear everyday.  What I love most about it (besides the fantastic marled colors) is the construction details.  I don't typically go for set in sleeves, but this one I can't wait to knit!  One of the biggest reasons for this is because it is still completely seamless!  Seamless construction with a tailored look - score!  This sweater is a total wardrobe essential.

Well done on another great collection Alexis!  I can't wait to make them all.

You can find Speckle & Stone on Ravelry HERE.  And on Alexis' website HERE.

And be sure to check out Alexis' book, Graphic Knits!

Mick & Porter

For all your last minute gifting needs... meet Mick.  A quick one skein-er knit in Quince & Co. Osprey.  Squishy weight Aran will knit up in a flash!  Wear it slouchy or folded over.

And because I never blogged about it (I'm a little behind), I released the Porter Cardigan in October.  I love it!  I've been wearing mine constantly.

You can find the Mick hat on Ravelry HERE

And the Porter Cardigan HERE

And now I'm off to get Lilo up from her nap and make a sick Otto a cup of tea!  Ah, the life of a work at home mom!

Recent Portraits

I haven't really been keeping up with posting The 52 Project portrait series of my kids, but I have been taking photos of them.  At some point over the last few months I started finding it hard to get photos of them alone, as they seem to be forever in each others presence.  It is telling of where they are in their sibling relationship; nowadays when we go to pick Otto up from school Lilo runs to him with a hug, and vice versa when she wakes from her nap.  Their sibling relationship is blooming, and it is touching to watch.  (And makes me sigh a sense of relief!)  So for now I've decided to do a portrait of the two of them together as it seemed to naturally be happening anyways.  And post them.... once in a while.

Slow Fashion October Week 4: WORN

When talking sustainable fashion (or just sustainability in general), so much comes back to that little word - WORN. 

As in; if we have less things, we wear them out.

As in; if we love the things we have, we wear them out.

As in; if we buy pre-worn things, we give them new life and save them from the landfill.

As in; if we make the things we wear, we will likely have less, and things we love, and creative fulfillment, and we will wear the things we make.  And so on, and so on.

WORN seems to be, for me, the center of the whole issue, and the reason why 80% of mine and my children's wardrobe is second hand and the remaining 20% handmade.  I buy almost nothing new, and that is due to my disgust with how much waste there is when it comes to clothing especially.  Folks make themselves feel better about their consumption and waste by donating it, but the fact is that so much of what gets donated ends up in a landfill or being recycled, including countless garments that have never even been worn.

The whole thing, quite frankly, disgusts me.

The sheer amount of waste, pollution, and complete carelessness of the well being of other humans is a tremendous price to pay for a cheaply made t-shirt that won't last a season.  If you're like me, it feels overwhelming.  I take one look at these kinds of statistics, feel helpless and shut down.  But I speak with my actions, and with my money.  And if there is one thing I could drill home to you, it is that MONEY TALKS.  Without a market for cheaply made t-shirts, there wouldn't be millions of cheaply made t-shirts in the landfill. 

The answer, for me, comes back to WORN.  Have less things, and WEAR them to tatters.  (Mending is super hip now anyways.)  Have things you LOVE and WEAR them for years.  Make special things that will be WORN for generations to come.  If you're not a maker, or your making can't keep pace with your family's needs, source the things you WEAR secondhand.  And when they're worn to what seems like pieces, find a way to make new life for them.  After all, it's how some of the most beautiful objects have been born. 

Slow Fashion October Week 3: LOVED

• proudest accomplishment: my wedding dress, definitely
• most loved item: above pictured quilting weight cotton dress, made from this pattern that I would wear for every special occasion from now until eternity, I love it that much.
• most frequently worn item: currently the yellow dress pictured in last week's post
• thing you saved up for: I don't spend money on clothes - splurging for me is spending $10 on a second hand item rather than $5.  Though lately I'm more apt to spend money on nicer fabric when I take the time to sew new garments.
• investment pieces: Shoes!  While I don't spend money on clothes, I certainly do ask for shoes when I need them, and always ones that will last. 
• thing you worked a long time on: hard to say... my wedding dress again?
• oldest thing that’s still in rotation: my high school Birkenstock sandals.

My brain has been buzzing with all this slow fashion discussion.  And while I'm just popping in now to share some tidbits, next week I'll have lots to say on the topic of WORN. 

Slow Fashion October Week 2: SMALL

The stories from my parent's childhoods are always worth listening too.  But the ones that really strike a chord - and are most relevant to the discussion of slow fashion - are the ones of my grandmother and the garments she sewed.  I can just envision her, hunched over her sewing machine late into the night, after children were asleep, in the row house that my mother grew up in and that I visited as a child.  I've heard many of the stories of her making: the time my mother wanted nothing more than a pair of Levi's jeans, and how my grandmother duplicated them in all but the logo tag, only to have my mother be less than satisfied (and later save up every penny to buy herself those Levi's after all).  The time my grandmother recycled an old curtain into a cocktail dress, and was late horrified when my grandfather proudly told someone at said cocktail party that my grandmother's dress was formerly a curtain.  The beautiful things she made for her children (and herself) were supplemented by my great-grandmother's hand knits which she sent across the ocean from Germany to her family in Massachusetts, and which my own children are now wearing.  In short, her endeavors could be considered the original small batch hand made timeless capsule wardrobe.

That time was a rough time in history, and I know that my grandmother did not have as many options as I have today.  And I value the right to choose so many things, while admiring some of the simplicity of that time.  What I have found as someone making her way in the hand made world through teaching and knitwear design is that people are far more willing to give you their money than their time.  But I would argue that this is at a great disadvantage to themselves and our society as a whole.  The hand-making of my grandmother's era was often out of necessity and budget.  And while it is hard to make do with a little (I know this from experience), I think that out of need comes creativity, ingenuity, and gratitude.  Investing time instead of money makes us choose and use more wisely, have and own less, and gives us the freedom of choice and self expression. 

In a world where boat loads of barely worn clothing are deemed useless, shipped to India and then recycled into something else, I admire my grandmother and her sewing machine.  Those few but favorite hand made garments she made each family member were worn to pieces, their conception in the first place a matter of pinching pennies, saving up and reusing every bit of material - and all while making fashion choices each individual could be comfortable with.  It is a simplicity that I admire, a few well loved hand made things.

A capsule wardrobe is a worthy goal, my own work in process is mostly thrifted and some handmade.  While I would like nothing more than to support small batch makers, often these items come with a steep price which we as a one income family with young children simply cannot afford.  Instead, our fashion choices come in the form of second hand clothing (saving it from that boat headed to become paper or blankets or whatever, and hopefully giving it a long life), with lovingly made garments sprinkled in. 

Wearing secondhand clothing is surely a whole pandora's box of discussion on it's own, but in this conversation of small fashion, it's one which I feel strongly about, the one we utilize most often, and one I think is worth thinking about.  If the effort of slow fashion is to reduce, reuse and recycle, then surely the reuse piece is of just as much importance.  And it's certainly relevant for the many sewing/knitting/fashion loving folk who are on a tight budget.  Because while the argument can always be made to invest in a few quality pieces, sometimes the choice is between an expensive pair of shoes and feeding your family for two weeks.  (And one I hope to see more chatter about during Week 4, WORN.)

On a more personal note...

The garments pictured above are those which I wear pretty much in constant rotation everyday.  From left to right: a linen/cotton blend shirt that I bought from a sale rack after returning a Christmas gift and had a gift card burning a hole in my pocket.  A cabled wool cardi knit by me, pattern coming soon.  And a simple tent dress in a linen blend slightly modified from the Wiksten Tank Pattern.

It seems like the perfect starting point for my own capsule wardrobe; I've gotten rid of nearly everything in my dresser, because after two pregnancies my body has changed.  I can't and don't want to wear the same pre-baby items, and most of them don't fit or aren't comfortable anyways.  It's given me a chance to see how little clothing I really need, and what I really want to wear everyday.  Usually it's the dress above, or the dress with either the tops and a pair of leggings.  Or either of the tops with a pencil skirt or jeans (the single pair that I've deemed post-pregnancy comfortable enough.)  So another of these dresses and a similar shirt is in order soon.  I have some linen lined up for a second dress, which should come together quickly, and I'm thinking the Aster Shirt would be an excellent addition to this line up, but I haven't settled on a shirt pattern - suggestions?

Slow Fashion October Week 1: YOU (ME)

Joining in with Karen Templer of Fringe Association for Slow Fashion October.

I remember my first hand made outfit vividly.  My mother and grandmother had done some sewing with me before, but this was different.  My parents were away for the weekend, and with my three younger siblings in tow (amazingly) my grandmother brought me to the fabric store.  She helped me pick out a pattern, fabric and notions.  We spent the weekend sewing my baby blue pants (with zipper!) and coordinating faux-tie-die tank top (with darts!)  After that I was hooked.  I think I was around 14.  I spent days and nights at my mother's sewing machine in the hallway/living room sewing clothes whenever I had free time.  I especially (fondly) remember the yellow terry cloth running shorts with white piping that were total favorites.  (Hey, who says impossible?  They were awesome and totally trend-bucking.) 

For my sixteenth birthday my grandmother bought me my first and very own sewing machine.  After that I would stay up all night in my basement bedroom sewing clothes for the next school day, or for some special event.  I made all my own prom dresses, getting a little zanier and experimental with each one, using commercial patterns as starting points for my own ideas.  Later I made my wedding dress too - gold with a red sash (pictured above, sewn from this pattern).  Stubbornly unique.  And though my grandmother swore she wouldn't help me with it unless I wore white, she did.  Perhaps a blessing and curse both, as my grandmother, a professionally trained seamstress, would never let me cut any corners.  I always had to take the long, ahem, RIGHT way to the finished garment.  

I seriously thought about fashion school for a while, and ended up at art school instead.  I'm so glad I did.  If I had entered a fashion program, I think I'd be in another world of fashion than the one I'm in now, one which I arrived at in a natural (albeit slow) way.   I spent my time in the Mass Art fibers department and my nights knitting away.  I used to read Interweave Knits wondering, who wrote these patterns?  How did they get into the pages of this magazine?  And after leaving two jobs to stay home with my kids, here I am, designing hand knitwear.  And I couldn't be enjoying it more.

Any slow fashion intentions that existed before came from both refusing to spend tons of money on something I could make myself, and refusing to give my money to huge evil corporations with unethical practices.  (As well as a total lack of money altogether.)  It's created an alway-thrifty attitude: buying clothes second hand, but spending money on good wool yarn.  Recycling old wool and cashmere sweaters (bought for $5 at the Goodwill) into warm wool pants for my babies and sewing each of us clothes when I find some time.  The recent chatter on social media about Slow Fashion has me thinking about this in a much more conscious and intentional way.  It's wonderful to find like minded folk who value hand made, and are willing to put in time - bucking our fast-paced, throw-away culture.

While I'd love to set myself some goals of making some clothes for myself this month (as I dreadfully need some, two pregnancies and a whole different body later), I know that it isn't realistic.  With a big (knitting) deadline project on the horizon and a one and three year old in tow, making things for myself is low on the list of possibilities.  Nonetheless, I have a stack of fabric that's been sitting on my sewing table all summer, with patterns already in mind.  If I got to even one, I'd be thrilled.  Tracking down a few secondhand fall/winter garments is a definite need as well, as today's chilly weather reminded me.

Welcome to Slow Fashion October Folks, it's going to be fun.

P.S. The photo on top right, taken of me on my wedding day, was taken by my friend Marc Dimov, a very talented photographer, whose work you can see HERE.

Recent Portraits

Joining in with Jodi, when I'm able...

Otto: Digging at sunset

Otto & Lilo: Finding them in the same spaces more and more / the pre-dinner grumpy hour

Lilo: Running around in the rain with her brother / baby tantrums, with crown (which I'll take over 3 year old tantrums any day) / LOVES the big truck and spends hours driving it around the house

Autumn Beach Trunk Show

Calling all Portland Maine-ers!  The Autumn Beach trunk show is over at my favorite LYS, KnitWit Yarn Shop.  Go over and see the collection pieces in person, and load your basket up with yarn to knit them with while you're there!  And if you'd love to make the Shifting Tides Hat, but want someone to guide you through it, then sign up for a class with me while you're there too!

If you'd love to see the Autumn Beach trunk show at your LYS, or you are a LYS owner who would like to host the trunk show, get in touch!  Email be at threadandladle {at} gmail {dot} com.

Autumn Beach (LIVE!)

Shifting Tides Cardigan

North Haven Cowl

Sands Cove Shawl

Shifting Tides Hat & Mitts

I am thrilled beyond words to be releasing my (first ever) collection, Autumn Beach.  Next week I'll be sharing more about each individual pattern, but until then, go ahead over to Ravelry and peruse!

Autumn Beach Sneak Peak (#2)

Autumn Beach: The Inspiration

The beach is our happy place. 

Take a cranky day filled with tantrums and tears that nothing but nothing won't fix.  Whisk that day away to the beach (and fast!), get those toddler toes in the sand, feel and hear the rhythm of the pounding waves, the seagulls overhead.  It fixes all. 

Summer or Winter, it doesn't matter.  We'll be there.  On the sand in our bathing suits or walking the water's edge with scarves wrapped tightly around our noses.  My favorite time is Autumn (followed closely by spring).  It's cooled just enough so the sun feels lovely and not baking, and the beach-goers have all gone home or to school or work or wherever they go.  Likely we'll have the beach to ourselves.  So we go.  We build sand castles and enjoy the quiet solace of an Autumn beach.  We take our meals with a bit of sand and the last bits of Vitamin D.  Collect seashells, stick our toes in the water, and as Autumn creeps on, we pull on our woollies for just a few more days at the beach.

The Autumn beach is our happy place.

I've thoroughly enjoyed designing this collection inspired by my favorite place.  The textures, colors and stitch patterns all remind me of those walks down the shore - and the pieces are exactly the ones you'll need while doing just that.

I can't wait to share it with you next week.